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A DAY IN THE DOCTOR’S SURGERY

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A Day In The Doctor’s Surgery

When we visit our doctors we like to impress them. We try to use medical jargons just so we may impress them. We even try to make our own diagnosis. Some of the things we say make the doctors laugh. Other things we do make them cringe.

A medical student gives an account of his experience in a doctor’s surgery. He sees and hears so many things. His dossier makes me laugh from the beginning to the end. 

Here are clips from the book:

A woman came to see the doctor. She had been coughing for one week.

“Doctor, I have coughed up my cerebrum,” she reported.

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“Doctor, my girlfriend has run away with one of my balls,” he reported. “I want you to confirm before I report to the police.”

An elderly man came to see the doctor. One of his teeth had come out.

“How did it happen?” the doctor asked.

“I did it on a chicken thigh,” he replied.

Wow! the student’s dossier, A Day In The Doctor’s Surgery, blew my mind. I couldn’t stop laughing.

WHEN A READER MET HER AUTHOR

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WHEN A READER MET HER AUTHOR

I am told that the lifetime probability of dying from a local meteorite, asteroid, or comet impact is 1 in 1,600,000. The chances of being hit by a tornado are 1 in 4,513,000,  for a car accident 1 in 90, for a fire 1 in 250, for lightning 1 in 135,000, for a shark attack1 in 8 million, and for winning the National Lottery jackpot 1 in 13,983,816 (or approximately 1 in 14 million).

I had wondered what were the chances of meeting the author of a book that you have enjoyed reading. I have read beautiful poetry, some of which authors I had no chance of meeting since these were all dead. I wished I could meet some of my favourite authors in the fantasy and mystery genres. I would like to discuss some of the plots with them. I would also like to discuss my favourite characters and would like to know the reason for writing the particular book.

My recent visit to Benidorm provided an opportunity to bit the odds. It was something that I never thought could happen, especially in a non-English speaking far-away country.

We had just had our supper. I took a strategic sit so I could be inclusive in what promised to be a memorable Friday night show. The people were so friendly, and made me feel like I had met all of them before. Yet I had only been there for three days. We were all looking forward to a fantastic night of magic show.

I got two glasses of red wine and settled with my wife in two empty seats beside a lovely couple from Liverpool, Bob and Rossie. Like it happens whenever people are gathered, we tried to get to know one another. Bob was a self-employed engineer. He had a keen interest in football. A loyal supporter of Liverpool Football Club, he could spend the whole evening talking about his favourite team. Rossie, a retired headteacher, looked younger than her age. 

“So, how do you spend your time when you’re not at work?” Rossie asked me, with a strong Liverpudlian accent.

“Reading and writing,” I replied.

“And you?” I asked.

“I don’t write,” she replied, “but I do read a lot.”

“So, what do you read?” I asked, as I became excited.

“I enjoy reading any good story,” she replied, particularly the mystery genre. You know, those stories with magic and horror, especially those stories set in Africa. You know, those stories about voodoos, jungles and wildlife. Oh, I love them.”

I nodded, as she continued.
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“Look at this,” she said, as she took a book out of her bag, “I bought it before we flew out last week. Have you read it?”

I nearly collapsed, as I stared at OKAMBI, my latest novel. I had never thought I would meet someone who had read my book, apart from friends and family, and those who had attended the first reading and got signed copies. 

“No,” I replied, “but I know about OKAMBI.”

“Nice one,” she said, “I will surely recommend it.”

“Have you read other books by the author?” my wife asked.

“Oh yes,” she replied, “I have read all of his books including his poetry. I have even read about him at his Amazon Author’s page.”

I turned the book from front to back, and stared at it, as if I did not recognise my own book. As I turned the 365-page mystery novel, I talked about Okambi, the teenage main character, his wicked aunt and the Wilderness of Wisdom.

My wife must have read the surprise on Rossie’s face. It was obvious that Rossie wondered how I knew so much about the story in OKAMBI when I had not read it.

“I can see you are surprised that he knows so much about the book when he has not read it. That’s because he wrote the story,” my wife said.

“Wow! Are you Joe Kenogbon?” Rossie shouted with excitement, and almost knocked off my drink. 

All the people turned into our direction, wondering what caused Rossie’s excitement. Rossie showed OKAMBI to everyone who was present that night, and recommended all my books to them.

I signed Rossie’s copy of my novel and thanked her for reading my books. I also informed her of my upcoming book, Pages of My Heart: Book Two. As expected, it was a crazy night. But, my real excitement was the chance meeting with a loyal reader of my books. 

LET’S CELEBRATE HIM

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LET’S CELEBRATE HIM

I can’t believe that it’s another Christmas. It feels as though the last Christmas was just yesterday. Whatever is my perception, it is real. It is another Christmas. Everything is the same: Bank holiday, best wishes with cards, texts, Twitter, WhatsApp, and exchange of gifts. To many people that’s all that matters. Just have the fun, go with the flow, and wait for another year. Of course, Christmas is a celebration time, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

But, did you know that two thousand years ago, a baby boy was born to a virgin mother in a manger? The world did not recognise that He was the King of Kings, Lord of Lords and the Saviour of the world. How would they believe, when He had no golden shoes on His feet and He did not wear an earthly crown? But, He wasn’t an ordinary baby. Nothing about Him was ordinary even though the world saw Him as an ordinary baby. Whether you recognise Him or believe the truth that He brought to the world, He loves everyone all the same. His arms are widely open so you may jump into His embrace for salvation.

That is who we are celebrating. That is what Christmas is about. Yes, it is all about Jesus, the Prince of peace. He is joy to the world. Yes, in Him we rejoice. Come on, let’s celebrate the one who has given salvation to humankind. In Him there’s no condemnation but salvation. I am not ashamed to celebrate Him. I am not ashamed to worship Him for I am One For The Lord. Friends, come and join me to celebrate the one who has rescued me. He is my Redeemer.

This is the time to praise the One who is full of grace, love and compassion.
I celebrate Him with my songs and dance for joy in knowing Him.
The Lord deserves our praises.
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Why will I not praise the Lord who is able?
Good things He has done in my life.
Nothing else I can do but to praise Him.
Yes, I am One For The Lord.
Friends, please join me to celebrate the one who has given us life.
Let’s celebrate Jesus and make Christmas a time for peace, love and reconciliation.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

#OneForTheLord

A LITTLE PRAYER

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A LITTLE PRAYER

How do I start?

Where do I begin?

Just what would I say?

Who do I pray for?

How long do I pray?

 

We are all people,

In God’s hands;

Pray for people around me,

Wishing me well all the time,

Bless their souls.

 

Some people have been alone all their life,

Longing to find someone,

Who will be close to their heart,

No one to talk to when their heart breaks;
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People with no interest in anything,

Mood is low all the time,

No pleasure in anything,

Sometimes thinking life not worth living;

Have no fear, God is closer than you thought,

So, I say a little prayer.

 

No pride in failure,

But no use burying my head

Under the pillow,

So, toddle on I will,

My faith to lead me on,

Knowing my God will do it again,

Like He has done before,

So, I say a little prayer………………

……………….

EXCERPT from ONE FOR THE LORD: Prose and Poems For Believers

WHAT IS A MOTHER’S WORTH?

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What would you do if you were told that your mother was dying of an incurable curse, and you too, were not exempt from the wrath of the gods? Imagine that your mother has lost seven children in their infancy and she now fights for her life. Will you leave her to her fate or fight to keep her alive? Can you risk your own life so that she can have hers?

I believe we all have our own answers to those questions, depending on how much we care about our mother. But this is exactly the situation that a teenage boy called Okambi faces. It is a testing time for him. He has no doubt that his mother has inherited the curse. The sign is so obvious. He needs no other proof. The repercussion is an inevitable death. That’s what they have told him. That’s what he knows. But there is always a way out of a predicament. He will not let his mother die. And he is determined to beat the odds. Desperate to find the cure, he is prepared to do whatever it takes, even risking his own life.

Gbagala, the only cure for the curse, lies with King Bam Dakuro, the powerful ruler of the Wilderness of Wisdom. Okambi dares to go on the dangerous journey. But he has to undertake the journey alone. In the Wilderness of Wisdom, no one fights for you. No one carries your burden. You do it alone, and die alone. He may get lost in the wilderness, never to return home. But it is a race against time. His mother has only a few days to live. Without the cure, she will certainly die.
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Okambi travels on a journey never undertaken by a human being. Even the greatest Medicine Men can only make brief spiritual visits, never in person. There is no road map to the sacred wilderness. There’s no day or night. But he must find the palace. He must find the key to unlock what the gods have locked. He must appeal to the ancestors through King Bam Dakuro and return home with Gbagala.

He mingles with half-bodied beings. He has to eat what they eat and do what they do. He mingles with invisible beings. He even fights Kiliwi, the formidable Giant of Ilu and looks at death in the eye. He must find the cure for the curse. That’s his mission, and it’s all that matters. That’s his mother’s worth.

THE LIZARD BY MY WINDOW

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THE LIZARD BY MY WINDOW

He stands there,
Don’t know if he sees me,
He raises his head,
Because he’s a gecko.

As I stand there in a stare,
Wondering what’s on his mind,
He swirls in a tick,
Turns back with a smile.

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Something’s dropped
From his gnash;
Limb of a cockroach!

The lizard by my window
Eats all the time;
He has no leftover when he eats,
No wonder he has no friend.

Excerpts from PAGES OF MY HEART

UNDER THE MANGO TREE

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UNDER THE MANGO TREE

Under the Mango tree,

There we sit,

With our eyes on top,

Waiting for a ripe one to drop.

Under the Mango tree,

Everything is free,

We do our playing,

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And go all crazy.

Under the Mango tree,

We pay no fee,

Since the fruits are free;

Our joy is awesome,

As we watch the fruits blossom.

Excerpts from PAGES OF MY HEART

KEEPING NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS

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KEEPING NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS
The New Year’s day comes with celebrations all across the globe. It is an important landmark in the life of everything in the world, living or nonliving. Not only is it significant as a chronological entity. But it is also a time for self auditing. It provides one an opportunity to reflect on all the events in the previous year. It is a magical time when you want to put all the pains, anger, disappointments, etc behind you. You decide to set goals for yourself. So you draw up your “New Year Resolutions.”

I visited my friend on New Year’s day. Bobo and I have been friends since childhood. As usual, we discussed various issues ranging from politics and religion to football. We both shared stories of all that had happened to us in the past year. Some of the stories made us laugh. Others brought tears to our eyes. But that’s life. Whether we like it or not, good and bad always walk together.

“This year is going to be different,” Bobo said with a tight fist. “I have made my New Year Resolutions. It’s going to be different this year.”

“Really?” I squeezed my eye.

I couldn’t help laughing. Bobo, like most people make New Year Resolutions. So that was nothing new. I recalled that one of my good friend’s resolutions last year was to be more organised. He confidently resolved to keep a tidy library. I sat down on the only seat that had nothing on it in my friend’s study. Heaps of unopened letters and journals with thick layers of dust on them made the room look like the waste recycling centre. My eyes caught one of my books that I gave him as a present last year. I pulled it out of the pile of his “favourite books.” As I dusted the book and many others on that row, I wondered what would happen to his resolutions again this year.

“Trust me, my friend,” he said. “This year will be different.”

I must admit, Bobo is not alone. Like most people, Bobo makes his Resolutions on New Year’s day. But only few people make the changes they pledge to make. In fact, studies have found that “43% of people who made resolutions broke their “promise” within the first few days or weeks, and 66% didn’t make it past February.”

I stopped making New Year Resolutions a few years ago. Of course, I believe in making changes. But I don’t wait till the first day of January to make that decision. You can make changes anytime and don’t need to wait till the New Year’s day. The important thing is the decision to make those resolutions. You can decide on the day you want to start. It can be the beginning of the week, month or year. As for me, my landmark is my birthday. That’s when I make my own resolutions.
Along with these points one has to make sure that he does not stays with the issue and do not face it for their whole life time. cialis buy usa Minimal invasions are now opted for surgeries and the incisions are http://deeprootsmag.org/2014/07/21/jackson-galaxy-feline-miracle-worker/ purchase cheap cialis approached from the under arm, breast or chest are done to avoid the neck area to be exposed. A Psychiatrist will assist in sorting all kinds of mental overnight cialis soft troubles and disorder so that you can do to boost your levels of testosterone are required for keeping men virile, energetic and potent. Such is the mechanism of best price viagra Generic 100mg, which when taken with water 60 minutes before intercourse, increases blood flow to particular areas of the body.Tadalafil is used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence) and symptoms of benign prostatic hyperplasia. Whatever the time you choose to make your resolutions the most important thing is to keep them. The following tips may help you to achieve them:

Keep them simple and specific: You may have several goals you want to achieve. Perhaps you have the desire to change many things about yourself. Trying to achieve all of them at the same time is likely to cause disappointment. You are more likely to keep your resolutions if you focus on one or two of your most important goals.

Make realistic resolutions: Some goals may be desirable. But are they achievable? You should not aim for goals that are clearly unachievable. Examine your previous experiences and try to figure out what led to failure. In setting your goals, think of factors that may prevent you from achieving them and whether you can deal with those factors.

Write them down: Write your resolutions clearly and boldly and display them where you can always see them. By so doing, you constantly remind yourself of your commitment.
Set Small Goals or Goals in small chunks: Break your goals into clear short-term manageable bites. It is easier to see how well you are doing when you put the road to achieving your goals in phases. Success in those short-term phases will ultimately lead to achieving the main goal.

Power of Repetition: Habit is second nature. It is one of the most difficult things to change. You need to consciously repeat the new habit. If you find yourself drifting back to the old habit, keep on your determination. Don’t flog yourself. Instead, keep reminding yourself that there is no habit that you cannot change. It may help to share your decision with friends and family and let them know how they can help. However, you must put yourself in charge.

Reasons for the change: Constantly remind yourself why you want to make this change. This is especially vital in those moments when the going gets tough and you feel like giving up. You know why you are doing what you are doing. Let that spur you into action. Do whatever it takes to achieve your goal.

Reward yourself: When you achieve each of the chunks of your goals, congratulate yourself. Even if during the process, you have made one or two failures, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you have done your best. Start on the next phase and keep going. At the end of it all reward yourself with something really good.

Those of you who have made new year resolutions, I hope you will keep them. All the best.

CHRISTMAS REMINISCENCES

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IMG_1541To say that Christmas is special is an understatement. The religious aspect of Christmas is unquestionable. But there are many things that make Christmas a unique festival. In the weeks leading to Christmas it always looks as if the ground would cave in under the feet of enthusiastic shoppers.

When it comes to Christmas shopping, I am a last minute shopper. I guess that’s because I am a man. Men typically leave their Christmas shopping to Christmas Eve. There’s something exciting about shopping at the very last minute. Because of time constraints you don’t have time to think long. You just grab whatever you can find but you must grab it before another chap gets hold of it.

Christmas in Africa where I grew up is not the same as in Europe. When I was a child there were no computers, no computer games, no mobile phones, iPads, etc. It was more of friends and families affairs with a great emphasis on the religious meaning of Christmas. Food was in abundance. Oh, I love Christmas in Africa.

Christmas time provides an opportunity for people to sell their animals.

IMG_1882

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In my place, goat is almost always on the Christmas menu. People would try any means to bring their goats home.

IMG_1929

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I was a child I used to wonder what was in the minds of the animals whenever I looked at them on the tether. I wondered if they sensed the risks that Christmas posed to them. They tried in their own way to escape their ordeal, including hiding in unusual places.

IMG_1522

 

 

 

 

 
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But Christmas is a time to show love.

IMG_0598

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is also a time for peace and reconciliation.

IMG_0616

 

 

 

 

And a time of hope

IMG_1296

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for visiting my site. I hope you have had a good Christmas and I wish you a happy new year. Please continue to visit my site as 2016 will be full of mind blowing blogs.

WATCH YOUR TONGUE

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IMG_1300Watch Your Tongue

I don’t like making or receiving phone calls on public transport. I prefer texting, not so much because of confidentiality, but because sometimes that could be a nuisance to other people. I get irritated when people’s phones ring with some weird ring tones or when the person next to you speaks so loudly that your ear drums are in danger or in a language that you don’t understand. There’s one phone that I cannot ignore. That’s my brother’s. Femi will call you repeatedly until he hears: “Hello!” from the other end.

On this day, I was on the bus home after a busy shift. I heaved a sigh of relief that I found a nice seat where I could just settle quietly and hopefully have a nap. On a good day, it would take an hour to get home. The guy sitting next to me smiled, as I took my seat. He had a gentlemanly look. I smiled back, thinking, Not the type of person who would spend the whole time on the phone! Having made sure that I had set my phone to vibration, I settled down. I was about to dose off when my phone started to vibrate. At first, I ignored it as I always did when on the bus. My eyes blinked several times as the caller’s name appeared: Femi. “Oh no, not now,” I grumbled, as I put the phone back into my pocket. But I knew, of course, that I was joking. Femi would never leave a message on the smartphone. He would try and try until I picked it. So I wasn’t surprised when my phone vibrated again seconds later.

“Hello!” I answered, hoping that the signal would be poor and I could tell him that I would call back when I got home.

“Bawo!” Femi replied, breathing heavily. And that was it. My brother was unstoppable. Thirty years abroad have not robbed him of a good control of the Yoruba language. My sleep disappeared from my eyes as I kept nodding, laughing and replying with encouraging “O ti o!” “Beni!” and “Rara!” I was glad when Femi said, “O dabo,” signalling the end of our dialogue.

Although I did actually enjoy talking to my brother, I felt terrible that I had done something that I really disliked. I turned to the guy sitting next to me, and with guilt conspicuously written on my face, I said, “Sorry about this.”

“Ko si wahala,” he replied with the most amazing smile.
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I nearly collapsed. I had not expected a guy of a different colour to understand my language particularly on a bus in a foreign country. “Oh, my God!” I screamed, ignoring the attention of the other passengers. The guy surely heard and understood everything that I discussed with my brother. Imagine what would have happened if I had said something bad about him or discussed things that were somehow implicating.

“Lola,” I said as I stretched out for a handshake.

“Tom,” he replied, still smiling.

Son of an oil engineer, Tom Solomon grew up in Lagos. Talking to Tom in my native language gave me a feeling that I could not describe. It was like talking to my own brother. We subsequently exchanged our contact details and have since formed a strong friendship.

This reminds me of Dr Chucks’s encounter with Pam Boggy, his medical student under Dr Braver. He had not expected to find a girl who could speak pidgin English thousands of miles away. That moment of discovery sent powerful impulses through both of them and formed a good soil for love to blossom.

Both stories had positive outcomes, one resulting in a lasting friendship, and the other in romance. My encounter with Tom could potentially have resulted in embarrassment had I assumed that the guy sitting next to me had no chance of understanding my language. The power of language must not be underestimated. Next time you sit next to someone who apparently looks different, there’s a chance he/she may understand your language. Watch your tongue.